The new Euchre Club of Chicago website is now up and officially running at www.euchrechicago.org. And after one week, we're already making improvements!

Check out the new Member Business Directory where you'll find a company listing featuring the many services and talents offered by club members. If you have a business or service you'd like to promote, send us the information in an email at euchrechicago@yahoo.com and we'll add you to the list.

To start things off, check out Eric Wallbruch's listing which includes a special limited-time discount on massage therapy services!

Join us tonight and every Tuesday at the Center on Halsted just north of Addison. Sign-up begins at 7:00pm, play begins at 7:30pm.

To find us, make your way to the second floor (take the staircase directly in front of the main entrance doors). When you ascend to the second floor, make your way to the room which runs along the entire front of the Center (so on your left if you're facing the second-floor reception desk). That entire room is ours.

The Whole Foods has opened on the first floor, and with the opening of the Whole Foods is the underground parking lot too. Technically the parking lot belongs to Whole Foods, so as long as you buy your macrobiotic spear of asparagus (or a bottle of water or something), you're allowed to park in that lot.

Also, the Center is a BYO facility, so if you don't like what Whole Foods has to offer, the 7-11 across the street sells some fantastic 45-ouncers.

As for the prize, winners have two options -- the choice of five free drink tickets from Charlie's (which is located across the street from the Center -- each drink ticket is for a domestic beer or well drink, a $15.00 value), OR five free plays (the winner gets a free play card). If Tuesday nights really take off and we can cover it, we'll raise the prizes accordingly.

If you have any questions, feel free to check with any board member, including your Tuesday Night Host, Dan Miracle!

Your weather for the week, provided by the meteorologists at WFLD-TV Fox Chicago.

TUESDAY - 89 / 70 Thunderstorms
WEDNESDAY - 82 / 70 Thunderstorms
THURSDAY - 81 / 64 Thunderstorms
FRIDAY - 78 / 63 Partly Cloudy
SATURDAY - 79 / 65 Partly Cloudy
SUNDAY - 82 / 67 Thunderstorms

Sometimes there's more to life than cards -- sometimes there's ART.

We invite you to check out The Man Show - Art of the Male Anatomy, a gallery show this Saturday, 8/18, from 8 pm until midnight at:

Mars Gallery
1139 W Fulton Market
Chicago, IL 60607
(312) 226-7808

This opening will showcase a variety of art media dedicated to the male form. The show will also host a charity martini bar to benefit Baobob Family, an organization dedicated to improving the lives of boys that have become orphans due to HIV/AIDS. It provides shelter, food, and schooling.

Tuesday, August 14 What? You missed last week's Tuesday night debut? Make up for it this week, 7:30 at the Center on Halsted.

Congratulations to the following recent winners!

Tuesday, August 7 - Gregory Ward, our inaugural Tuesday winner with a 52!
Wednesday, August 8 - Michael Meadows with a 51!
Saturday, August 11 - Jason Buskel with a 55!
Sunday, August 12 - No play today, but we understand there were some winners anyway at Market Days, if you get our drift.

Quesadealing

(KAY-sah-DEE-ling), n., gerund

The disaster-prone act of trying to eat and play cards simultaneously on the wobbly tiny salon tables at Big Chicks.

"Table 8 had a brand new deck of cards, but they had to be tossed at the end of the night after being soiled from Sam's inexperienced quesadealing."

"I'm not sucking anything!"

Dan Hansen, attesting either to his failure to bleed trump or his unfortunate current dating condition.

Dear Hoyle,

My partner called trump and I had a very weak hand, with no trump. I wasn't really paying attention while playing the hand because I knew I would be no help, and OK, a certain hot club member was in my line of sight. Long story short, I accidentally reneged by not following suit (my partner had the ace, and I threw off one of my other trash cards). It totally would have made no difference to the play since my partner would have gotten all five tricks anyway, but our opponents went ahead and scored two points for themselves. Is that fair? - Moronic Attention Disorder

Paris Hilton doesn't pay attention to her driving license status, and she ends up in the big house. La Lohan doesn't pay attention to what she puts up her nose, and she lands in rehab. There's only one way to point the finger, M.A.D. (and pay attention to what you're doing with it). If other club members are so exotic, put on some sunglasses, Corey Hart. It's a simple rule of euchre and life: if you don't play by the man's rules, you get screwed. Thus Spake Hoyle.

Rule Corollary #1--New Players: If you honestly just made a mistake, let your opponents know. Better to beg for mercy than take the punishment, unless of course you're into that sort of thing.

Rule Corollary #2--Point Whores: Everybody makes mistakes occasionally. Quoth the Bard: "The quality of mercy is not strained; it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven." Um, yeah, not too sure what that means, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with going easy on people once in a while. Earn your points the old-fashioned way, with skill.

Rule Corollary #3--Cold-Hearted Scammers: Renege once, shame on you. Renege twice, and everyone's watching your hands like a hawk. If you're a habitual reneger knowingly screwing your opponents, just be aware: karma's a bitch. And it won't be mercy dropping on your head.

If you have a question about Euchre strategy, ECC club rules, relationships or just life in general, send an e-mail to resident expert Hoyle at euchrechicago@yahoo.com. We promise all e- mails are anonymous, and the answers may just