If you've smelled a lot of smoke lately, it's the brains of ECC directors Geoff Dankert and Dan Miracle, who have been spending countless hours (really, we've tried to count) figuring out brackets and a way to run the Tournament of Champions II in an orderly, fair way for everyone.

Have they succeeded in their quest? The only way to find out is to join us on Sunday, October 14 at the Center on Halsted (rooftop level) and find out for yourself. Signup begins at noon and CLOSES AT 12:30PM -- so if you want to play, you MUST be signed up by 12:30PM. We need to give the bracket boys ample time to sort things out.

If you'd like to join us, please sign up with any director or send an email to euchrechicago@yahoo.com. We're also asking that you bring a dish for a potluck. The directors will bring their meat (to grill -- get your minds out of the gutter), so if you want to bring a side, a snack or a dessert, it'd be much appreciated.

Prizes, unlike our other traditional team tournaments, will not have to be split with anyone -- so if you're one of our top winners, you get a nice hefty prize! More on prizes next week (we know, we promised it this week. Just call us dirty rotten liars).

Just a few weeks following the Tournament of Champions is our annual Halloween Party! Be sure to visit the Euchre club website (click here) and check out photos from our past Halloween celebrations. Come in costume and play for free, plus there's always great prizes, treats and maybe if you're lucky, a trick or two.

The official party is Saturday, October 27, although we won't hold it against you if you come on Wednesday the 30th in some sort of costume too. We might laugh a little...

Your weather for the week, provided by the meteorologists at WFLD-TV Fox Chicago.

TUESDAY - 87 / 67 Sunny
WEDNESDAY - 84 / 65 Partly Cloudy
THURSDAY - 80 / 63 Partly Cloudy
FRIDAY - 86 / 60 Partly Cloudy
SATURDAY - 81 / 62 Partly Cloudy
SUNDAY - 85 / 63 Sunny

This week, a list of ways the world would be better if men truly did run the world. Our personal favorites, #11, "Ally McNaked" and #25, "Hallmark would make 'I'm sorry, what's your name again?' cards."

The complete list can be found by clicking here.

Sunday, September 23 - Next Board Meeting, 4:30pm @ Charlie's

October 27 - Halloween Party

Congratulations to the following recent winners!

Saturday, Sep 1 - Kevin Jackson with a 53!
Tuesday, Sep 11 - Art Stalks with a 51!
Wednesday, Sep 12 - Ron Hall with a 53!
Saturday, Sep 15 - Joe Dennis with a 52!
Sunday, Sep 16 - Sam Sirko with a 54!

Sexting [SEKS ting] v. 1) To text message sexually-explicit messages on a cell phone; 2) Engaging in phone sex via text message. usage: "Sam was totally distracted at Euchre because Lou kept sexting him."

"So what's your favorite song from Mary Poppins?"

- ECC member Fester Hugunine, asking what might possibly be the gayest question ever.

Dear Hoyle,

It seems I've just won both the official United Kingdom lottery and the official Kenyan lottery. And some prince from Nigeria wants to give me a cut of his father's fortune. What would you suggest I buy first with my newfound wealth? -Rolling in Dough!

Dear Rid:
A clue.

If you have a question about Euchre strategy, ECC club rules, relationships or just life in general, send an e-mail to resident expert Hoyle at euchrechicago@yahoo.com. We promise all e- mails are anonymous, and the answers may just